Why Does Energy Work Make Me Feel Weird?
Oh, well hi there! How are you doing??
Here is yet, another strange blog post explaining in very confusing detail just how dysregulated my nervous system truly is.
Energy Work: Qi Gong
In late 2020, during the early days of the pandemic, I discovered medical Qi Gong through a YouTube video. This led me to Ling Gui International Qi Gong and Master Liu He, who has an incredible backstory story. She was named a Qi Gong Master by her grandfather, a respected Chinese medicine practitioner, at just 14 years old. She was not only very young to receive such an honor, but it was also uncommon for a woman within that tradition.
I was drawn to her. She seemed strong and kind, and during that tough stretch of the pandemic, she offered free workshops to help raise people’s energy and hope. For two months, I practiced with her YouTube videos every day for about 30 minutes daily.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was overdoing it.
I was seeing a skilled bodyworker, working on my posture, trying new eating habits, and experimenting with herbs. It hadn’t quite caught up with me yet… but adding the Qi Gong to everything else pushed things into overdrive.
Putting Overdrive into More Overdrive
Eventually, I signed up for Master Liu He’s online zoom classes. Her classes usually last between 4 to 6 weeks, meeting once a week for about four hours. The routines are beautiful. The movements are unique and poetic, activating energy channels in ways I had never experienced. I loved it so much that I even considered teaching Qi Gong myself.
But I have a habit of overdoing things, and with Qi Gong, it got intense. When I joined a Facebook group for fellow students, I realized most people only practiced outside of class once or twice a week for 20 or 30 minutes. I was doing it every day, sometimes for an hour or more. I also tried other techniques I was recommended through YouTube (damn algorithm), which only added confusion and strain. It was getting out of control.
By spring 2021, I was completely overwhelmed and ended up bedridden until mid-May. It was the worst I ever got. It’s hard to describe what was taking place in my body, but anything, even walking around to get something out of the refrigerator, was too taxing. I had signed up for so many classes and I couldn’t do them standing up anymore and I had to do Qi Gong lying down. I pushed myself too hard.
After that crash, I slowed down but still didn’t fully understand how powerful and demanding Qi Gong could be even in smaller doses. I thought I was simply doing something gentle and healing, but I was pushing myself out of desperation for relief. In addition to that, I was doing several other healing modalities, thinking I was helping my body, but I realize now that I was overwhelming it and forcing it to do something it wasn’t understanding.
It did continue to take classes with Master Liu He Up until late 2023 I also was doing it way less. I unintentionally stopped doing Qi Gong, I don’t really have any reasons for that, it just happened. But it certainly wasn’t the end.
Revisiting The 2021 Healing Crisis
Recently (May 2025), a newsletter from Ling Gui International advertised a series called Celestial Pillar, which had me very excited. It was the same series that I learned building up to the 2021 healing crisis when things got really bad. My initial reaction of excitement was very genuine, but I was remembering how out of balance and unaware I was. It’s such a fantastic routine to learn though. So, without hesitation, I signed up for it.
I prepared myself mentally. I’d like to think that I’m in a different place now than I was 4 years ago. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, I feel like I’ve gained a lot of understanding about my body and nervous system. And I do even think that I have experienced some healing as well since 2021.
I went into my first class yesterday knowing, I might feel good after but could crash later. That is my rhythm, it’s kind of like emotional whiplash. But I promised that I wouldn’t do any more Qi Gong for the rest of the week, because…I thought that was Pacing.
The class was amazing. It felt good to be in the flow again. I did get tired after the first round of we practiced. I had to lie down during part of the lecture (this was a zoom class, so you are aware). But overall, I managed well. That night, I stayed up late, energized and happy, and had a great time with some friends.
I actually wished I had listened to my body and stopped when I got tired. It was a sign now that I am looking back on this.
The Next Morning…
The next morning, I woke up with heart palpitations, a headache, and deep sadness.
I tried to take care of myself with food and water, but the day felt heavy and hopeless. Then, the extreme tightness on the left side of my upper body. I knew the Qi Gong was triggering this, and it was incredibly frustrating. It didn’t feel fair. I love Qi Gong, and I love Master Liu He, She is truly an inspiration and it hurts like hell that I seem to struggle and get knocked on my ass so hard with something that is so beautifully Intelligent and gentle.
For the rest of the day, I noticed I was rushing to think about moving or planning escapes, trying to distract myself by being busy. These are typical functional freeze activities that I’ve come very accustomed to and have only just recently gained awareness of. As the day rolled on, the tightness on the left side of my body was feeling worse and the feeling of hopelessness made me cry.
I then decided to really sit with it and try to gain more understanding. And this is where it’s leading me now, to just write about it and talk about it since I do a lot of these blog entries doing dictation. I am even noticing as I keep speaking about it, I feel a level of relief or level of release. I guess even an attempt of developing consciousness around this is the road to recovery, at least it is in this moment, who knows.
If I Knew Then What I Know Now
In 2022 learned from an acupuncturist that my life force energy, my Qi, was extremely stagnant, likely from years spent in a chronic freeze state. She looked at my tongue and repeatedly said “no life force,”. I listened to her and believed her but it did take me some time to fully understand. It now makes complete sense. This stagnation explained why my body reacted so strongly to Qi Gong, a practice meant to move energy.
Like everything I’ve faced over the past several years, I’m learning and gaining insights even when things are not going too great. While depression and hopelessness remain ongoing challenges, I’m starting to understand their roots better. There is more to do, I am very much in need of support and understanding, but there are things that I can do in the meantime that can still help me.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I will have to be careful.
Why Does Stretching Hurt? – Notes From Dysregulation
Why Do Vitamins Make Me Feel Sick? – Notes From Dysregulation
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